The Telltale Signs You’re Getting Older (Even If You Don’t Feel Like It)

Last updated on June 28th, 2024 at 11:43 am

It’s easy to feel like you’re still in your twenties well into middle age. But even if you don’t feel any different, your body gives subtle signs that you’ve crossed over into a new stage of life. As a totally mature 40-something myself, I’ve gathered the top 10 ways your body screams “You’re not young anymore!”(in the most loving way possible, of course!)

1. It takes you 500 years to get off the couch.

Remember the days when you could leap up effortlessly? Yeah, me neither! Now just standing up makes your knees crack like glow sticks at a rave. Don’t even try getting up quickly or you’ll get a head rush that lays you right back down. Take it sloooow, wait for all systems to go, then hobble upright. Who said aging isn’t glamorous?

2. You’ve become a wizard at reading ingredients fonts.

In your youth, you could read any microscopic font on food labels from a mile away. Now even “large print” looks like ants marching to your aging eyeballs. Don’t stress about squinting and holding labels inches from your nose though…getting older just means getting wiser about what you put in your wise old body!

3. Your skin puts sandpaper to shame.

Remember when you had a baby’s bottom complexion that glowed without even trying? Well, those days have dried up…literally! With age, skin loses elasticity and moisture, feeling rough and crepe-y no matter how much fancy cream you slather on. Don’t sweat it though – wrinkles are wisdom lines earned from all the laughter through life!

4. Your body decides to randomly hurt for no reason.

When you were young, pain signaled injuries from epic activities. Now body parts ache out of nowhere – knees throb, shoulders pinch, back twinges. Don’t take it personally though – it’s just old Arthur Itis stopping by to say hello! Motrin and heat packs help make those random ouchies go away.

5. Things start growing…and I don’t mean muscles.

Not to alarm you, but strange protuberances begin sprouting in the strangest places as you age. We’re talking bunions, skin tags, suspicious moles, wild eyebrow hairs…all kinds of weird bodily surprises! Luckily age brings the IDGAF attitude needed to rock your old battle scars. You earned every single hairy mole, baby!

6. You feel the barometer in your bones.

Remember when weather changes didn’t phase you? Yeah, those were the days! Now dropping air pressure turns you into the human version of an arthritic groundhog. Aches, pains and creaky joints let you predict storms better than Doppler radar. So grab your rain bonnet and umbrella when your knees start pinging!

7. It takes a week to bounce back from activities.

Run a 5k race like you did as a teenager and you’ll pay a heavy price! Post-exercise recovery for us old farts takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Expect muscle soreness, zapped energy, joint aches that last for dayyyyys. It makes you want to retreat to bed rather than risk overexerting your weary bod again!

8. You consider headphones a mobility aid.

When vision, hearing, reaction time and balance start to go, popping in headphones gears you up to navigate the world. They act like a force field against chaos so you can strap in and focus. Plus blasting those oldies through tiny speakers reminds your brain of the good ole’ days!

9. Activities end with mandatory icing sessions.

Remember when post-activity recovery meant a breezy stretch? Well grandpa, now it’s all about the RICE – rest, ice, compression and elevation. Don’t make any big plans after breaking a sweat…you’ll be waylaid on the couch watching Netflix with an ice pack cocoon wrapped tightly around creaky body parts!

10. Conversations require constant clarification.

There’s nothing more infuriating than only catching snippets of chats. “Huh? What was that?” becomes your constant refrain when talking to mumblers. Luckily, age brings courage to request, “Say that again?” without shame! Blame it on old ears or them being brats…either way, make them repeat it until you’re clued in!

While aging ushers in new aches, pains and quirks, it also grants us laughter lines, wisdom and self-confidence. I love watching my body change (going grey overnight was a bit shocking though), gaining facial badges that reflect all my feelings and experiences over a lifetime.

Sure new weird bodily things crop up daily, physical exertion knocks me out, and I still struggle to read ingredients without a microscope. But heading into my middle years, I can proudly say I earned every fine line, silver hair and cranky joint! And I look forward to all the fodder they’ll provide for exaggerating ailments dramatically to my grandkids someday.

So embrace those bodily battle wounds, fans…they’re the side effects of living life to the fullest! Now if you’ll excuse me, this old body needs an Epsom salt soak before wheel of fortune comes on.